Phone Company Qwest & Their New Robot Therapy

Ever notice how some corporations, especially utilities, just never GET-IT?

Sorta like the old adage: "if it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all"?

You've probably seen Qwest in the news being sued by one entity or another, and usually settling out of court or flat losing. Seen reports of big fines levied against 'em. Or, seen 'em try to buy another company like MCI, and lose their bid.

Qwest just seems like the Rodney Dangerfield of what used to be the Baby Bells.

The number of customer complaints about Qwest, to public utility commissioners, was apparently kindda steep for a while too. Qwest runs saturation ads in it's coverage area, pitching their "Spirit of Service" in a transparent attempt to counter all the bad press. Sorta like Bush telling us that private accounts are a good thing. Or, that he's the peace-president. Ya know, like when Nixon said: "I am not a crook".

Now, I don't know whether George Bush got the idea from Qwest or vice-versa, or if it's just one of the things ingrained in the noggins of every MBA, who requires help getting dressed,  ... if you say it loud enough, and repeat it often enough, somebody, somewhere will begin to believe ya.

At one point, awhile back, I became so aggravated with Qwest's truly shitty customer service that I trimmed every extra feature until I was pared down to just dial-tone. No frills, no voice-mail, no call-freakin'-waiting, or caller ID, nuttin'. Pretty much just a couple of OJ cans and string between. Twenty-some-buck/month, period. The whole, Chinese, "less-is-more" adage at work.

Well, today I was moved to call and make my payment by using their automated payment mechanism. I called 1-800-244-1111. Instead of the usual voice prompts asking me to make a selection, using the keypad on my touch-tone phone, I got something new.

Yep, instead of the familiar voice prompts, I got the dreaded, interactive robot receptionist that wanted to engage me, in of all things ... live conversation! Hell, I've lived in the same house for 17 years, and I don't even enjoy talking to live neighbors all that much.

Here is this bloody condescending robot, with 'tude, asking questions, and then tellin' me what words he'd accept in response. I much prefer the old keypad choices.

I decided to make the best of it, and have a little fun. I tested the robot. I tested to see if the robot could recognize George Carlin's seven dirty words, for instance. Alas, even Qwest's robot is a dud! In abject failure the robot finally broke down and announced it was deferring to an actual flesh and blood humanoid-type.

Ok, so I'm easily amused. Rather than hang-up I waited for the human-robot to field my call. I can't be sure, but I suspect that Qwest's robot told the human the jest of our prior conversation. Coz, the human was laughing when he came on-line. The human life form assured me that I was not the first kid on my block to have expressed dissatisfaction with Qwest's new robot.

He even agreed with me that the old adage, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" is applicable when comparing the voice prompt-to-keypad-entry system versus this new robot thingie. Sure, it would be ideal if Qwest actually employed more flesh-and-blood types to handle calls, but in today's environment it's something of a miracle that even the robot isn't located in Calcutta, India, or some such!

Sooo, go ahead, have a chat with the robot yourself. Who knows, maybe YOU'LL even enjoy it! And MAYBE, if enough folks call Qwest's toll-free number, to "TEST" the robot's word recognition, Qwest will get the message.